Me, Myself, I: Self Perception & Self-Esteem

Growing up I was an only child and as a result have always been relatively shy and timid, at least until I get to know other people. This led to a considerable amount of doubt and uncertainty across various areas of my life. I would find myself constantly questioning whether the things I liked to do or the way I presented myself were “cool” or socially acceptable. In attempts to evaluate and understand myself I would constantly compare myself to others whether it be in regards to what I was wearing that day or how I was performing academically. I always wanted to know how my friends did on various assignments or tests in order to seek some kind of validation or sense that I was doing well or even better. This is just one of many applications of Festinger's social comparison theory which basically states that we make comparisons to other people in order to assess ourselves, particularly in the absence of any systematic or objective means of comparison (Festinger, 1954). This concept still perseveres to this day where I still find myself comparing my tastes in fashion, music, food, movies, and so on.

In addition to making general comparisons, this need to evaluate became even more prevalent in cases where I was not happy or satisfied with my personal situation. Thus, I sought opportunities to remind myself that I was faring at least a little bit better than someone else. For example, whenever I would be going through tough times with my significant other I would often find myself comparing my relationship to those of my friends in order to find some comfort and relief in knowing that my situation was not the worst. This kind of evaluation is also referred to as a downward social comparison in which an individual seeks to compare their situation to those of people in less favorable circumstances in attempts to restore one’s self esteem (Hakmiller, 1996). I have also caught myself making downward social comparisons in regards to academic performance. There has definitely been a few times where I have received a grade which did not quite meet my expectations so naturally I went and found someone who scored worse in order to make myself feel better.

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Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7, 117-140.

Hakmiller, K.L. (1996). Threat as a determinant of downward comparison. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology (Suppl. 1), 32-39.